And so, as you might guess from my previous message, we haven’t had an election in a long time. Even before the Vote Delivery System was completed, only Believers were winning. Eventually, only Believers were running. Finally, it was deemed too expensive to hold elections for the few rich white landowners still allowed to vote (the Supreme Court of Devout Elders called that “original intent” and “strict construction”, as pronounced by Cardinal Scalia). The very last election disbanded the House of Reverends and the Senate of Angels, replacing the Constitution with the Bible as interpreted by the True Patriot Act. With that, Our New Lord became God’s Right Hand for Life, with his brother anointed for succession. The Believers celebrated the final destruction of the Federal Government, the great enemy of free enterprise and the Confederacy. The heads of trial lawyers on pikes surrounded the Lincoln Memorial (some dared whisper Lincoln himself was a trial lawyer – blasphemy). The face of Our New Lord replaced Lincoln on Mount Rushmore.

But no one misses the elections. It was terrible enduring all those commercials, all the phone calls and mailings, all the people insisting that you pay attention to the process, think and choose carefully. And, at the time, the uncertainty was unbearable – why vote if you can lose? Eventually, the Believers convinced everyone the vile gay-liberals would only try to steal the elections on their way to destroying everything moral. We all know this from the Six O’Clock Gospel. His Truth: “Good news for you is bad news for the wicked.”

Most of us are too busy to care about “participating.” Everyone but the Righteous Rich has several jobs. His Truth: “Work will set you free.” Everyone listens to The Voice of Truth on radio and watches TruthTV (lottery winners every hour after Prayer Moment!) The Believers don’t care because their Day is very near.

Oh-oh, trouble’s coming.

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Warning! The Ministry of Faith-based Justice will not allow gay-liberals to continue to threaten the moral fabric of the Christian Republic of America. You traitors hate America and Our New Lord. You will pay on Earth and in Hell. Signed: Assistant Minister of Faith-based Justice Tom Delay

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mjh’s blog — Left Undone
Left Undone, Part 1
Left Undone, Part 2

I hope you received my earlier message.

There is some debate (in secret, of course) about how the United States of America became the Christian Republic of America. Some look as far back as the Civil War. Most look at the defeat of Goldwater in 1964 (“Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice.”). Naturally, the chicanery of 2000 and 2004 had roots in Nixon’s dirty tricks and Reagan policies of plausible deniability.

Clearly, the end of the Constitution came in January, 2005. In the months prior to the inauguration of then-President Bush, information leaked out about voting irregularities. The internets were full of chatter about programmers who bragged they wrote code that will yield believable results while shifting votes to satisfy their customer (this was the beta for the Vote Delivery System which was installed nationally in 2005). An executive of Diebold said, “We deliver what we are paid for; it isn’t our place to argue with a customer.”

When millions of people took to the streets in January, martial law was inevitable. His Truth: “There is a time and place for dissent and that time is past.” Ironically, the rioters were all supporters of the President who had been incited to riot by the Voice of Truth, who told them the gay-liberals were going to steal the election (which Believers had been saying for months before the election). With urban areas in flames, the Believers demanded protection – save us from these terrorists, they cried. And so, at the insistence of everyone who mattered, then-President Bush declared martial law. His Truth: “Fear is more powerful than anger but the really powerful use both.”

In the years since, a rumor has persisted that it was someone in the White House who leaked the original information about the Vote Delivery System. While many find that ludicrous, a few say it was genius to steal the election while accusing your opponents of doing the same and then revealing the truth to taunt them into revolt. Only the Architect of Victory could be so diabolical.

Gotta run and hide ….

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Alert! The preceding message is labeled a Red Level Threat. Anyone caught distributing such messages will be arrested. By Order of the Right Reverend of Faith-based Justice Orrin Hatch

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Four out of five Nobel Laureates agree: John Fleck’s is an intellectual sea that raises all boats, even deep in the desert. And these aren’t just Literature and Peace prize winners.

At the Awards Banquet, Lionel Ritchie sang, “He’s Fleck — FLECK! — exciting! An inspiration to me.” And to us all, Lionel.

Off in the shadows, Fleck’s masters from Manipulative Media Corp (a subsidiary of GreedCo) were seen rubbing their hands together dramatically. “Excellent! They trust him. Now activate his chip. Just wait until they read Jesus rode a dinosaur and that learning math makes girls less attractive. Bwahahah!”

Brought to you by Truth Is Duller Than Fiction. Now, here’s Paul Harvey with the rest of the story.

Congrats, G-Fleck!

We were hiking near Cabresto Lake which is surrounded by but not in the Latir Wilderness. I paused on the trail as 4 horsemen approached. They were dressed in fatigues head to toe, more likely hunters than fisherfolk. I asked the first, “are we close to the wilderness boundary?” “Yeah,” he answered, “about 15-20 minutes ahead.” Looking down at me, he asked, “You a Kerry supporter?” I laughed, surprised and puzzled. “Yeah. Why do you ask?” “You look like a Kerry supporter.” Riding a bit further he said, “Good luck to your boy in November — he’ll need it.”

Too late, I thought:

“Know what I don’t like about Kerry? He’s a hunter.”

“Why do you ask? Cuz I’m not sitting on my ass letting someone else do all the work?” (the horse)

“Let me get a picture. I’ve never seen a jackass on a horse.”

“You make $200K/year? You got a huge estate? No? Why are you pro-Bush?”

“White guys in camo — who would guess you’re Republicans.”

I’ve stewed over this much longer than I should, which is exactly what he’d like to hear. mjh

When did Jesus say “you can kill all the people you need to if you have a good reason”? mjh

I have started a small collection of photos of my wilderness encounters. mjh

The Wilderness of My Soul — Photos