Four out of five Nobel Laureates agree: John Fleck’s is an intellectual sea that raises all boats, even deep in the desert. And these aren’t just Literature and Peace prize winners.

At the Awards Banquet, Lionel Ritchie sang, “He’s Fleck — FLECK! — exciting! An inspiration to me.” And to us all, Lionel.

Off in the shadows, Fleck’s masters from Manipulative Media Corp (a subsidiary of GreedCo) were seen rubbing their hands together dramatically. “Excellent! They trust him. Now activate his chip. Just wait until they read Jesus rode a dinosaur and that learning math makes girls less attractive. Bwahahah!”

Brought to you by Truth Is Duller Than Fiction. Now, here’s Paul Harvey with the rest of the story.

Congrats, G-Fleck!