For most of my life – even if I live to 99 – I didn’t own blue jeans. Originally, it had to do with jeans fitting me so badly. Eventually, I became proud that I didn’t dress like everyone else. I wore corduroy, but that’s a laughing matter for another blog entry. When I turned 50, I felt it was time to challenge myself, so, I bought a pair of blue jeans and joined the herd. Moo.

I’m telling you that as preface to an even more shocking detail that may set me apart from everyone I know: I rarely talk on the telephone. It’s not a phobia: it’s weirder than that. The few people I have talked to on the phone would never guess how rare that is, considering how normal I must sound. I used to have a list of reasons to explain why I avoid phones until I decided that the list came after the aversion, as is so often the case, merely to explain something that may actually be unexplainable and, further, warrants no explanation. It’s my right to avoid phones and, more than likely, not my only eccentricity. Because Merri *LOVES* talking on the phone, we’re a good match (for more than this reason), except when we are away from each other. (In spite of this, we talked frequently by phone the year she was in NM before I moved out.) These days, email, IM, and Skype make it seem almost unnecessary to have a phone. Or so I thought.

But, now I see the inevitable. I see the accidents, the injuries, the mis- and missed communications growing worse with age. I see long hours in waiting rooms looming. I see that IM via WiFi won’t work after a fender-bender or lost along a byway. I see – choking back a little puke now – a phone in my future. A phone fastened to me like a ball and chain, like the mark of the devil, like a pair of jeans I can’t remove. A phone I can’t get away from because I’m *afraid* I may need it at any moment. How do you live with this?

Because even 10 year-olds have more experience with cell phones than I do, I’m asking for input, if you’re still with me at this point (thank you). Who provides the best service? Which is the best phone/feature? When I say ‘best,’ keep in mind that unlimited minutes don’t mean much to me, unless I undergo a complete personality change. (Possible, but that would be hope for the wrong thing.) Should I use one of those ‘pay as you go’ phones? Which?

I would consider a service that provides a computer connection, but don’t recommend the iPhone or the Crackberry. Is there another nerd option?

Thanks for your suggestions in the comments or by email. Don’t call. peace, mjh