Updated 7/4/08: We got Miss Kitty from the Humane Society 18 years ago. The choice was made easy when she stood on her hind legs to place a paw on each side of my face. Perhaps she was hunting my goattee, but it seemed an affection gesture. Kitty and I both sneezed on the drive home. Years passed before I discovered I am allergic to cats. When I asked the allergist what I could do, he said, “get rid of your cats.” I replied, “Time will take care of that.”
A year and a day has passed since our sweet Miss Kitty died. Her photo appears on my screen frequently. Like most of us, she deserved a better end. peace, mjh
Atheists grieve with anguished sobs, like anyone else. Today, we euthanized Miss Kitty. We returned from 6 nights in Colorado to find she had deteriorated too much. (We thought she might die while we were gone. Our cat-sitting friend and neighbors did the best they could for her while we were gone.) This morning, I found her asleep with her head hanging over the edge of the water dish. For the next hour, she wandered from dish to dish, thinking the next one would quench her thirst. Like Tantalus, whose eternal damnation is largely forgotten in the modern meaning of tantalizing, there was no relief for Kitty. None she could find on her own, though she looked in every dark corner for solace.
I accept we did the humane thing, but I also believe death is final and I don’t wish to hasten it. (And, yet, I am an omnivore. I thrive on the death of others.) There is no heaven and we will never see Kitty again, except on the screensaver. It is terrible to let her go; it is misery to lend a hand, no matter how humane. Now Daedalus pushes Tantalus from my thoughts.
One experience is shared by all: death. Grief is a measure of our capacity to love — they are inseparable. mjh
Green Fire
I love her
and I know
she loves me
though we are
so different
gazing in her eyes
I see the green fire
and believe
she can see it
in mine. mjh
See Merri’s eulogy for Kitty:
Merri’s Dance and Music eNews » Kitty the Cat 1988-2007
[Originally Published on: Tue 07/03/07 at 5:50 pm.]