From the Desk of the CEO of AOL<\/p>\n
On behalf of myself, the board, and our shareholders, I feel required to thank you for your recent efforts in winning the call center competition. We considered giving you a raise (kidding) or a one-time bonus, but concluded it would be more fiscally responsible (ie, cheaper and more deductible) to pay $10,000 to a football player to try to inspire you into keeping up the drop-dead pace at which you have been working. Thanks to you forgoing bathroom breaks, I will get $10 million in bonuses this year. I can’t thank you enough. You are vitally important to our company, even though you could be replaced in an instant by someone making less money.<\/p>\n
Next month we will be cutting your medical benefits again, but you will be glad to know we’re paying Dr Phil $100,000 to inspire you to accept your fate. When we abruptly close your call center to ship the jobs to a place where your hourly pay is considered good monthly pay, we will try to get you a free AOL CD as a token of our real appreciation. Now, back to work, lazy slaves! You can read on your own damn time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
From the Desk of the CEO of AOL On behalf of myself, the board, and our shareholders, I feel required to thank you for your recent efforts in winning the call center competition. We considered giving you a raise (kidding) or a one-time bonus, but concluded it would be more fiscally responsible (ie, cheaper and … Continue reading Albuquerque Call Center Wins Visit from Some Guy<\/span>