Our friend Kathleen is 93 years old. We\u2019ve known her for more than 20 years. During those years, Merri has been a surrogate daughter to Kathleen, providing her with hours each week of contact and care. Mer has filled Kathleen\u2019s pillboxes (lots of pills \u2013 does anyone really know about drug interactions when so many medications are involved). Mer has helped Kathleen manage her finances, and much, much more. A year ago, Mer found a new senior facility for Kathleen to move to that was so much better than the little room she had occupied for years. Things were looking good \u2013 as good as they can for a near-blind 93-year-old with a generous and kind heart.<\/p>\n
Almost monthly for I don\u2019t know how many years, Merri and Kathleen have had lunch together, along with conducting business. Three or four times a year, I\u2019ve joined them at Paul\u2019s Monterey Inn. We eaten a lot of Paul\u2019s extraordinary green chile chicken soup and petite filets. After years of getting the bacon from around Kathleen\u2019s filets, Lucky has learned to smack his lips at the mention of her name. Our waiter and our friend is also named Mark. Together, we\u2019ve celebrated birthdays and anniversaries and the good life.<\/p>\n
A few weeks ago, Kathleen had a nasty fall. Overnight, this independent woman lost control of her life. (Her 24 hours in the ER testify to a horribly screwed-up health care system.) Although she has recovered considerably in a short time, she will never recover her independence. It is a tragic turn \u2013 heartbreaking.<\/p>\n
Kathleen\u2019s two daughters have taken the responsibility they should. No one could expect Merri to do even more than she has. Still, the result is that Kathleen, who expected to die in the town that has been her home for 50+ years, has moved to California, to a facility close to one of her daughters. I can\u2019t say this is wrong \u2013 it\u2019s not my decision, and the decision is so difficult.<\/p>\n
We had one last lunch at Paul\u2019s Monterey Inn a week ago. Leaving town isn\u2019t the same thing as dying, but when you\u2019re leaving your home forever and saying goodbye to friends you may never see again, it hurts as much. We\u2019ll miss her.<\/p>\n
Update: Nothing so confounds a writer like reality. Tonight, the Universe sent a message through its agent, Kathleen: What’s your problem? Kathleen called tonight to tell us how happy she is in the new place, which is beautiful. She remains a role-model for kindness, generosity, and rolling with the changes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Our friend Kathleen is 93 years old. We\u2019ve known her for more than 20 years. During those years, Merri has been a surrogate daughter to Kathleen, providing her with hours each week of contact and care. Mer has filled Kathleen\u2019s pillboxes (lots of pills \u2013 does anyone really know about drug interactions when so many … Continue reading It ain\u2019t Heaven, but moving to California is a bit like death [updated]<\/span>