The original Alien scared me to death. Everyone in it was good, but most especially Sigorney Weaver. The sequel Aliens managed to surpass the first movie, something that is rarely done. (Die Hard 2 would be another example; Tremors 2 would be an example of the more common collapse of a franchise.)

Ever the optimistic nerd, I had hopes for Prometheus, the prequel to Alien. It has a few great scenes, especially the android David in the alien planetarium. It has a few interesting characters/actors, such as Michael Fassbinder as David, Charlize Theron as Ms Vickers, and Idris Elba as Cap’n Janek. However, the movie has so many flaws, so much nonsense, it was almost unbearable to watch. Was the Engineer at the beginning creating or destroying a world? (“Sometimes, you must destroy before you can create.” Like destroy the respect Alien(s) earned in order to create … nothing respectable.) I do so hate stone tech, which I blame Indian Jones for popularizing. You know, press the stone glyphs to reveal a magically powered machine. What the hell was up with the virtual 3D security footage?

I know that Scott worked backwards from the phenomenal, darkly-lit, briefly seen Observer in the original Alien. He wanted to explain what lead the Observer/Engineer to be where he was. But wasn’t the Observer enormous, not just a big muscle-bound guy? How does the Alien Observer make sense in the context of the bloody (one of too many) death of the last Engineer?

The Engineer’s destruction of David was an interesting counterpoint to Blade Runner, where the android could have killed Ford but didn’t. Turns out our god was more senselessly violent than even we are. (Proving, as I’ve always felt, that we created god in our image.)

So, the Engineers came to earth and “created” (spawned) us. Then, they planned to come back and destroy us, but got interrupted by … what? worms on the exoplanet? So, David implants/infects what’s-his-name with a bit of the stuff engineered to destroy us (maybe), and David impregnates the no-Sigourney Noomi Rapace, who becomes pregnant with a squid child she extracts using a self-surgery machine. The squid child kills the last Engineer, giving rise to … ta-da .. the Aliens of the Alien series. I assure you it doesn’t help to understand or pay attention. Just watch things blow up. (Sound advice for all “blockbusters.”)