When I was in junior high school, I hurried home to watch Dark Shadows each afternoon. I thought Barnabus Collins was super-cool. (I named my St Bernard Barnabus.) Many years later, I found Dark Shadows streaming on Netflix. I was reminded that we can’t really get back to an original experience, no matter how well we recall it. The show was so low tech, so slow and dark. I still think Jonathan Frid was a great Barnabus, but I lost interest on the soap opera pacing after a few episodes. (I never saw the remake of the series.)

When I saw the preview for the movie version of Dark Shadows, starring Johnny Depp and directed by Tim Burton, I thought the movie would be great fun. I was wrong. There were little things to like, not least of which is Chloe Grace Moretz. Perhaps the music was the best part, although this is the first movie with a score by Danny Elfman that I can’t recall any of his music — anybody alive in 1972 could have scored this one.

Eva Green’s character was unpleasant but she played her with great enthusiasm. I did not recognize her from Franklyn, a movie I enjoyed, or the Golden Compass, a movie I can’t remember because the book was so overwhelmingly good (until the 3rd in the series disappointed me almost as much as the end of the Harry Potter series).