My submissions to the Alibi’s Ridiculously Short Fiction Contest. I suggest you close your eyes or look away after each one to clear your palette.

Don’t Be So Linear, Dude

Ladies and gentleman, I thank you for this great honor you have given to me. I am also grateful to the disruption in the Space-Time Continuum that resulted in me receiving this award before anyone saw my work.

Coulda Been

In a small town in Texas, a failed oilman turned rancher sat alone in a bar, a hint of coke beneath one nostril. “I coulda been somebody,” he said to no one in particular. “If only I hadn’t lost that magic lamp!” On the TV behind the bar, President Hinton smiled from the Oval Office, the lamp gleaming on one corner of his desk. The loser snorted, “I’m telling you, that guy is the worst president imaginable.”

Postcard from Albuquerque

Dear friends,

Greetings from New Mexico! This is the 40th straight day of rain here. It’s been raining so hard we haven’t been able to spend time at the beach or even to ride the paddlewheel up to Taos. The Rio Puerco washed away the Interstate yesterday. Lake Rio Rancho is close to overflowing. My hair is completely frizzy from the 100% humidity and mildew keeps forming on my suitcase. I can’t wait to get home to the desert around sunny Seattle.

In a parallel universe, I’m the one reading your story and wondering how the hell it got into print. mjh

My 2004 submissions: mjh’s blog — Ridiculously Short Fiction