If I didn’t find the public voice of gun ownership so bellicose and arrogant and self-serving, I’d feel sorry for people who are so sure they are in constant danger that they must have a gun for comfort. Or for people who are so limited in entertainment options that they must have a gun for fun. Or for people who are so enamored of killing animals, they have to have a gun. Saddest and most frightening are those who believe the only reason they are free is because of guns. I’d feel sorry for them, if I weren’t disgusted and tired of the bullshit.

If you ever wade through the arguments presented by pro-gun commenters, you’ll distill their arguments along these lines:

Any object can be used to hurt or kill someone: screwdriver, hammer, car, gun. Therefore, no rules can apply to a gun that don’t make sense applied to any other object. Do you really want to register screwdrivers? If you do, only criminals will have screwdrivers. (Just to be clear: rules that do apply to potentially deadly objects like cars CANNOT apply to guns.)

No object is mentioned in the Second Amendment other than guns. There is no ambiguity in that amendment: it emphatically states everyone can have any gun. Therefore, guns are the one object we can’t “restrain.” The Second Amendment trumps all others, except for free speech, and you better have a gun when you exercise that. Gun ownership is an inalienable right. (Freedom from violence is not. However, the only way to be free from violence is to own a gun.)

No object can be used for self-defense like a gun. Not a baseball bat, not a knife, not a fist. Therefore, nothing is a better defense than having a gun. Efforts to control gun violence are a literal attack on people and intended to tie them up so the bad guys win. Why do you hate freedom?

Guns are fun. Guns are traditional. Guns build character. Guns do more good than harm. Guns do no harm at all. If you don’t have a gun, you’re not entitled to an opinion (rather, your opinion is wrong).

No one is responsible for accidental death involving a gun. Not the gun owner. Not the guy who made money selling the gun owner the gun (without safety lock / cabinet or training) and the bullets (armor-piercing — it’s his right!). Not the industry that grows fat on blood. Not the politicians they own. Not the rabble they rouse for their endless profit. After all, it could have happened with a can opener. Do you really want to outlaw can openers?

I tell gun owners no one is going to take their gun away. I agree to what I can about data. Then, I ask: what can we do about gun violence. Most answer with more of the above “logic.” Some mention “mental health.” Are you willing to pay a tax on gun-related sales for mental health services?